To take the step out of Limboland that you attempted and GIMA is getting ready to do you must force an R talk.
No, you don't. I was confused on this issue at first as well.
But, the discussionI had with my W earlier this month went something like this. W, I only see two, and ONLY two, alternatives at this point. Either work on the M or take it apart. You've told me you don't/won't work on the M, so that only leaves me one alternative.
Next move is to make a plan of how to move to an amicable parting (or at least as close to one as possible). Get your ducks in a row. And that means finding out what post-D looks like for you financially, visitation wise, etc. Once you have your plan, then sit down with W and show her what it will look like for both of you. Not to convince her to stay in the M, but to lay out the reality that will follow her decision. I would be willing to bet it isn't anything like what she's imagined.
W, this is a plan of what I'm willing to do. You have a week to make a decision on whether this is acceptable.
If she remains in limbo and can't make a decision, then you will have to be the one to file.
It's not what you want, nor I, and you can remain open to working on the M, IF SHE COMES OUT OF IT. At the same time, you can't wait on that anymore. Waiting got you where you are right now. And it isn't going to get any better with age.
A good friend told me a story recently to illustrate why we have to move forward. It involved a bunch of marines pinned down on a beach. These guys were hiding behind the only cover they had, which were a bunch of wood pilings driven into the ground.
Well, teh enemy was destroying the pilings gradually with their mortar fire and bullets so that eventually, there would be no more cover. Many of the marines were paralyzed.
An officer was working his way through his pinned down men and was trying to get them to advance onto the beach, towards the enemy. Understandably, many of the men refused - that's were teh bullets were coming from. The officer told his men they could remain behind the pilings, but would eventually meet CERTAIN death or they could advance to the beach where they at least had a CHANCE of surviving.
When you are stuck in limboland, you are just like those marines who remained behind the pilings. Uncomfortable as it may be, your only chance of surviving is to lead you and your W out of limboland. If you don't, there is a slow death awaiting you. If you do, you don't know where it will lead, could end up in D, but at least you have a chance.
