Hope and heartache

[C-Bart]

Have you asked her before? Does she know where you stand? I'm working under the assumption that the answer is yes to both of these questions. Has she made an attempt to talk about the R? Would anything be different now than in Oct?

I think springing it on her would be better than asking her permission. You're back to being concerned about her.

As far as my sitch its a bit different. My W filed in March and sat on the papers for months. When she did tell me I completely lost it and had a huge nice guy fit. Tried all kinds of things to get her to change her mind. Guilt. Pleading. Threatening, etc. I resorted to all the nice guy tactics that used to work. I'm not proud of the way I acted but it is a defining moment in my life. Once I calmed down I started to accept the reality somewhat and started to take charge. Her response was to come running back, not all the way but to a point. The point she was comfortable with; coming by my house whenever she wanted, not financial responsibility, etc. This cycled several time like this. My last pull back she pulled out all the stops. Its amazing to me how much trouble one person can go through to avoid a commitment. Anyway I digress.

My biggest problem has been the inability to stick to the plan. I drop the rope she picks it up and hands it to me and I grab on for dear life. Why? Because I'm afraid that I can't live without my W. Stupid I know. I already am.

My personal opinion is you have other options than D. Figure out what you want to do. Go dark, re-negotiate the finances, move home, move towards 50/50 custody, whatever. Whatever you do its because you decided it was best for you.