I was on here years ago. It helped me a great deal to post things back then and I am hoping it will help again. My H left me and my daughter. Once we got back together after a seperation on 3 months. He put me through h#ll during that time and I suffered as we all do terribly. He came back we tried to work on the marriage then 7 months later (we had moved to another country for his work) he lost his job, moved us back to where we were living before and basically things escalated to a point where he stayed in the other country and eventually we divorced.
I never wanted the divorce. It was against my moral and ethical code but I felt compelled to file because he asked for the divorce and we were seperated (him living abroad) with hardly any contact for almost a year and a half. People told me I was stupid to wait and it was time to move on. So I filed. He never showed up for the divorce nor to get custody (joint) for our daughter. He basically seemed not bothered by the whole thing.
It's been 3 years since the divorce. And I have not moved on. I am still devasted - still emotionally scared. Still not in another relationship. Still dwelling on the past. Why it happened. Why it happened to me. I feel like I was a good wife. I know I am a good person and really loved my ex.
What hurts most is this Summer I contacted my ex. He hasn't seen my daughter nor I much in the last 3 years. I couldn't bear to see him he's hurt me soooooo much. Finally I called him told him we were going to be spending sometime in NY this Summer and I asked him to visit us.
He came - we spent time like a family. We went to shows, dinner, lunch - went sightseeing. I was so happy. I cried a lot - told him we had made a mistake - he didn't say much but agreed to talking more often etc. I was sort of hopeful. I had heard he was not involved with anyone.
Boy was I wrong!!! When I returned from NY we spoke. Once I got very emotional and I asked him point blank if we could get back together and he said no that he hd moved on. I lost it and cried and shouted asking him why he had married me in the first place if he didn't love me. I still don't buy the fact that you can love someone and then stop loving them. That's not really love then.
We stopped talking - once my cleaning lady said he has called and asked how we were. She is very close to all of us having worked for us even when we were married and she asked him if he was involved with anyone. He said no and he had said to me in NY that he was dating but not getting married. He said he might live with someone. But it had been hard for him to move on.
Turns out I found out through the internet that a month or so after I saw him in NY - he was married. He got married!!!! He lied to me in NY. I am soooooooooooooooo hurt... haven't been able to sleep or understand how someone can be so hurtful. I called him and he said it was none of my business. That I was confused in NY.
I also found out he has been living with this woman for more than 3 years. We only got divorced 3 years ago. I can't believe he could move on so quickly. What about me and our daughter. He never cared for us.... I am so hurt I can't begin to express the degree this has affected. I did everything for this man and he has treated me like garbage. But why????? I am an attractive, intelligent, cultured, caring person. Why would anyone want to abuse my heart and my life this way? What about the vows people take - how do they just not care.
Anyway, I am so sad, so hopeless these days. He was verbally abusive during my marriage. Left me not once but twice. Treated me like garbage. And somehow I feel like he's nice to this other woman. He has been an awful father.
Has not even called or sent anything for my daughter this Xmas. Please any advise would help - sorry this is so long.