I understand what you are saying and you are right, it is contrary to other advice I have received. I do not feel like I am trying to control her or what she thinks at all. I am simply standing up for my principles. If she wants to D and to be with someone else, then that also means the family dynamic is going to change.
You are right that going back to some family time would be a 180. However, this would be extremely hard on me and would not help with the moving on process at all. I do not want to start feeling good about things when they really are not, and then end up at the same place I am at right now 4 months later. This is a big risk and of course is based on the assumption she would be willing to do family time...she may not. Focusing on other apects of my life would be critical during all of this. Also, is it fair to the kids to have family time when in reality it is just a facade?
