I feel you CTH, on the frustration. The chances for reconciling, based on this board, is very, very small. The point is getting yourself ready for that inevitablity and doing what will help you.
The choices will come home to roost for the wife, and there will be more pain, fear, regret, guilt, etc. I seems that WAS's can't use any logic, as it is a pure EMOTIONAL decision. We all know that emotional decisions are usually bad. You have hit it exactly, on what your job is.
I tried the other nice guy method and it was worse(especially for me). I think C-Bart is correct you have to move out of your comfort zone, for YOU. Praying for you man. I know it hurts, I am there.
