I’m with you 100% on this. I have started researching on some public record web sites such as intelius.com to get some info related to the OM’s family.
Ahhh, very wise. Some have success with People Search. My H claimed he found information about the OM I had an EA with and it did not cost him anything. I have never figured out how he did that on the computer. He said he may tell me some day. I tried to do it but would only get an address and then had to pay a fee for more.
About the exposure of the A and your family and in-laws.......you know the beliefs and traditions of your people. Do the right thing and not just what you think "we" want you to do. I appreciate your trust, but I would not bring harm upon your children or anyone else. I used to be very much against exposure b/c I had been the WAW and I once saw it as "revenge". It took almost two years before I began to change my mind about it.
It is a most painful thing for everyone involved (except for the OM). If OM has nothing to lose, then it is worth nothing.
I suppose you have your reasons for believing your W is not having sex with OM, but it is hard to think he would stay in an EA and see her several times a week and no sex. You need to see if you can do without sleeping with her before you give her a two-weeks notice.
Anyway, continue to get as much information & evidence as you can about the A. Have you thought about having somebody to follow your W on New Year's Eve to take pictures of her with OM?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
