Something else for you to thunk on... she earns more than you?
Really?
COOL!!!
It's the 21st century right? Women are our equals right? It your state supports it, file for spousal support too. No reason why you should have to work two jobs.
Yep. THIS.
And CTH, in your posts, you seem to focus on dating as a means to bring her back. THAT's not your focus. Your focus is getting you to a place where you have your self respect, confidence and swagger back. If she wises up ans comes back, then you get to decide if you want her back. But, her coming back isn't the point, and should not be the reason why you take a certain action. Out of your control man.
Now, speaking as someone who spent too much time in limboland with a W who is comfortable just being who she is right now - and why wouldn't she like it - she isn't working, has her house paid for each month, has food on the table from my earnings, has someone to play with the kids half the time and, here's the BONUS for her - she is under the impression she can pick and choose when she has a husband. If it serves her purposes, she's M'd. But, she doesn't haven't to provide ANY support, be it emotional or intimacy. Who wouldn't like that gig.
It took me a while (too long) to realize the more I "changed" and worked on me, I felt better about me (and I did/do), but it made NO DIFFERENCE to my W. And once I realized that, I understood I really only have one "choice" if I wanted my life (and teh rest of the happiness to which I AM entitled) - and that was moving on. If she comes back, then I will decide if I want her back (not sure on that right now). If she doesn't come back, I haven't lost anything - I've gained my life back.
I totally get what you are saying about "getting there." And I am not pushing you to be "ready" before you are. I am, however, giving you a warning from my experience that your fear (and it is fear) is what may be keeping you from being "ready." It isn't easy confronting your fears. But, you will conquer them and be MUCH stronger once you do.
Do this for no one but yourself. But when you do it, one of two things is going to happen. Either your W will snap out of her fog and YOU get to decide if you want her (and you will have some very serious doubt you do want her back) or she won't, in which case nothing you were going to do was bringing her bac. In either case, you will be a very strong, confident MAN - a he!! of an example for your kids.
And, I think that's really what everyone is trying to say, in their own way. We all want to see you succeed. And that success has nothing to do with whether your M survives or not.
I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Tough developing confidence, but when you get a little taste of it, you WILL want more. Feels good to be a MAN agains, my friend. REAL good.
