WAS seeing reality?

[Gnosis]

I am so tired of feeling like I care more than she does

That's why we avoid worrying what they're thinking. It's a pointless and draining exercise.

Did I always love her more than she loved me?

Nope.

Did she EVER really care?

Yep.

Did she force herself to stay with me just long enough to have our second baby who is now 2?

Nope.

Am I that terrible? NO! I am a caring and honorable person!

Yes you are.

Sometimes I want to tell her that I hate her and other times I want to grab her and squeeze until my heart explodes!

I can relate to that.

I still feel like I am doing something wrong if I talk to other women

Get over this ASAP!

and I know that feeling will not go away just because a piece of paper says we are divorced.

Get yourself onto a head-shrinker's couch ASAP.

I also dont want to sit there like a chump until she starts dating.

It's going to happen.... and um... I thought that she's already been there and done that... You've got to pull yourself out of this crap attitude V1olin, and SOON!

Some would say that she already has but that has no chance of working out.

Who care's what some think or don't think. Right now she's full speed ahead on the D-track.

Start thinking about YOU.

I should probably just go find a girlfriend and have fun with my life!

Um... NO! Your head is too screwed up at the moment for you to get involved with someone else. What you should do is go out and get a life. Meet and make new friends (male and female.) Build up your self-esteem and confidence.

Oh and by the way... she asked if she could take my picture with her new phone the other night. I asked what for and she said it was for her caller ID. I guess she can make it so a picture pops up when someone calls.

So what? Who cares? Not your problem.

Come on man! You're better than this! You better have plans for a party tonight or I'm going to come there and kick your a$$!!!! It's a new year! A new decade!

A new life waiting for you to make it happen. So go and DO IT for crying out loud!