Sandi, I don't know how to respond to some of what you say. I think about the image I'm projecting to W every day. I can't crawl into her head, but I'm happy with how I feel.
I feel so frustrated b/c I feel that you are not hearing the message. And I am not saying this with anger. I get frustrated whenever anyone does not fully understand what I'm trying to relate.....and I'm not saying that is your fault, but it's my inability as a communicator.
I was hoping to get you to see part of it from the POV of a WAW and how she does not see her nice guy as she once did before she lost repsect for him. I think that is what people (and me included) means to say about being the man you were when she fell in love with you. The difference back then...was that you did not allow her to disrespect you (at least I don't think you did, or she would not have M you). Somewhere down the line, you began to let her get by with saying something, have an bad attitude, treating you some way......and then it turned into disrepect.
So, as in most things, you have to do what seems would be opposite in this stitch. But, as long as you feel good where you are now, that is what you have to live with. You sounded really satisfied (on one of the posts) about your apartment and the girls liked being there. The end result is for you to be happy about "who" you are and the life you are in.
I want to express that what I said about how so many excuses had been used about unconditional love?.....I didn't mean that I had heard sooooo many from "you", necessarily, but I mean that I have heard that from so many men & women who won't stand up for themselves. I have seen people hide behind the shield of unconditional love, and the badge of religion, and proclaiming forgiveness......when it's not really any of those things. It just gets to me b/c of abuse or fear or acts of cowardiness that I've seen in my life. (And.....I am not accusing you of any of that.)
I just want you to be honest with yourself......no excuses or calling it by some other name......and be happy with your life. If you really feel the way you described about moving on with your life, then that's good.
Don't be upset with the board. You are just feeling frustration also. I know you posted on my thread, plus you had your own thread, and you probably posted on other people's threads. It is hard to keep up with all of them.....and there are many personalities and POV. But I think it is everyone's intent to try to encourage, (in their own way) so that the other member will be all that they can be. If you are all that you can be/do.....then, I'm glad.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
