Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[chatterbug]

Can you think of anything that you could take over that he is doing ? Then drop it. Wait. Pick it up again. Wait. Drop it wait longer.

Don't want to hijack this thread newmama. But my W is a giver.

I want to know how you intend to do this while in NC cutter, or is this just for newmama?

P my wife is a taker.

I attacked this with some assumptions and logic.
0. She is very independent and enjoys her free time. ( I did the house work and cooked )
1. Her OM is a SVP. His wife stated she sacrificed her career for his. This sounds like a taker.
2. My wife became a cake eating queen. She got 100% giving from me and she got the fantasy side of the affair.
3. I exposed very quickly to her family and let the truth do the work.
4. I waited until she got to the point where she felt she could do anything. Life was perfect. She was in control of everything. Could do anything.
5. I dropped the rope. Kicked her out. 100% giving went to zero. In one day.

Now. Fantasy ends. She is in reality.
She no longer controlls her life. He is married with kids. He is her boss. He is used to having someone take care of the house. She thinks she has skipped 3 or 4 steps in life and is now living the high life. She is not getting a 100% giver. So she is going to compensate by spending money and going at life like she is a queen bee.
Now some additional assumptions and logic.
1. Whats that I cannot stay in this fancy rental house when your kids come over.
2. For this to become legit at work you want me to quit my job and get another or stay at home.
3. I want a baby Mr. 47 year old SVP. A baby.
4. I go from being the price to the pauper on weekends. Gotta leave the mansion for the shack. Back to the same bed I was in 14 years ago when I met cutter. But now its a computer room.
5. Some one has to become the giver in this new relationship. I got no Plan B. Cutter is gone. He acts like I do not exist.
6. But I enjoyed free reign. I could go out with my friends when ever. Play sports when ever. Work late hours and when I got home I knew there was a dinner waiting for me at the table. A smile and a chance to unwind. Decompress. Now. I have to cook or get him to cook. We talk about work after work. Its 100% work work work. And when its not work. Am I doing a good job? He could go back to his family. She said she would work on the marriage. He is still in contact with her. I am not in contact with cutter at all.
7. What is he doing when I am away 3 days a week. This is all cutters fault. My family does not like adultery. Nor do many of my friends. ( I would assume the other side is like this as well ) Cutter is playing the victim here. Do they not realize its all his fault I am unhappy. I am going to tell this to OM and talk about how horrible cutter is ignoring me. I know I could contact the IM as he said. But damn that. Is he there. How he talks to my family. Its my family not his.
8. I think I am losing control of my life. I must smother OP or I am going to lose everything. The chase is on.



Anyways

Thats my guess. And how I attacked a Taker. Make them the giver.
Let them destroy the affair from within. While I put pressure on the outside.

Its a long game. One hopes I notice the cracks.

Spite = cracks. ( If things are good she has no reason to hate. )