Hope and heartache

[ClingingToHope]

We've been separated eight months. I did some research and figured out Illinois is a percentage state. So I give $370 every two weeks for CS (28 percent of my net income). I give her an additional $115 for my half of the car insurance, my half of the money we put into the girls' college accounts and half of two loans we took out for house stuff. One of which should be paid at end of January -- although it won't be -- so I'm going to stop giving her that amount in February.

I proposed it. It was definitely a "nice guy" move.

At first I also thought it was best she have full physical custody -- more time at "their" house. But W won't be able to stay there long-term anyway so the girls will eventually have a new home. And as I learned over the year, I'm already taking them 40 percent of the time and they are adjusting well.

Why not boost it to 50 percent?

Over the summer, I was giving her a percentage of the money I made from a second job. My attorney told me to stop that. I'm also not chipping in on daycare expenses anymore -- something I should be doing -- because I simply can't afford it.

If/when a D is filed, I'm going for joint physical custody, which would mean no CS and just splitting expenses such as insurance, child care, school stuff.

That is where a fight would come in. Whatever attorney she gets will tell her to fight that because she'd be giving up $740 a month.

She makes $10,000 more a year than I do -- without the second income. It's amazing what the insurance industry pays. I'll make $4,500 or so this year in a second job I found after I moved out.

Basically, every two weeks she has -- after I transfer money into her account -- $2,000 and I have $900.

Mishka, she doesn't run to me with money troubles. That totally embarrasses her. She just did the one time and she didn't even ask me for much then -- $25. She does lean on me for kids/childcare issues. But they are my girls and I'm not going to punish them because of their mom's choices.