Tom, the DR book teaches more on the line of no snooping and acting as if everything will be fine. It teaches that if OP is suspected that the LBS "outshine" that OP.
I want to warn you that what you may find is not for the faint of heart (as some have said). My H almost had a heart attack, and I'm not so sure he didn't have a small one. So, unless you are quite sure that you can handle reading sexual conversations from your W to OM (or maybe even more than one), you may want to reconsider. Also, you need to know how to use the software without her knowing it has been installed.
The concept from a lot of board members is to snoop to gain knowledge and evidence of any A. However, once it starts, then it is hard to stop.....so I've read. I don't think the Internet even had FB and some things like that at the time DR was written, but I won't swear to it.....can't remember. But the speed things are going these days in the tech world.....one can't afford to drag his feet or his M will be over and he won't ever know what hit. It's scary.
So, just be sure of what you want to do.....and get more advice or instructions before you act. There was one young man that exposed his W's A when it was suggested (but was told to wait before he did anything) and he wasn't prepared for the fallout. So, don't do anything drastic until you are prepared.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
