Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[newmama]

Thanks, Cutter! Notice I said "TELL" the taker you want help with something, don't just drop it (at first!) I mean I don't think you should have to always tell the taker. Just at first.
Example:
Giver: Honey, it seems like I am the one who does the dishes/ plans the outings/pays the bills/picks up gifts (etc.)
It would mean a lot to me if you could do ___more.

Taker:Well you always beat me to it! or I thought you LIKED doing those things so I just let you! or But you criticize me when I do it wrong!

Giver: I can back off a little. If you start to do it, then I will not criticize the way you do it.

Taker: Ok you got yourself a deal! Today I will do____

ANd then, Giver, you MUST praise Taker for doing those things--please do not crticize or re-do the task that the Taker did (if you are a controlling perfectionistic Giver). Please accept that there is more than one way to do something and if the Taker forgot to clean the sink, who cares. When you do it the next time, your example will stand out because the Taker will notice the way you do it versus how s/he does it. I don't know if that makes sense.

????What do you think?