NC - W vanished ...

[P17]

Thanks everybody for the replies. This particular issue has me sitting like a dog listening to a high pitched whistle (you know the way they tilt their head to the side as if to say 'don't get it').

You can sit there and explain this to me from now until doomsday and I simply will not get this.

I know they are all doing it but I simply don't get how somebody can walk away from their childhood life? Especially somebody like W who treasures these memories (she didn't have a great childhood). I can, however much it hurts, understand how she can walk away with no pictures of me (although she did take one of our wedding photos of me and her which didn't make a lot of sense). I can even understand why she would take no pictures of D. I cannot understand how she can abandon her childhood pictures (and as I said she didn't miss them unless she had temporary blindness). It is as if she has started a completely new life starting when she left. A COMPLETELY new life from day 1.

I went through the box of picture frames / pictures again and it's actually got a lot of newspaper articicles, programs etc. from when D was in amateur dramatics when she was younger. I mean things when she was 13 or 14 younger. When I lived with her these were all over the house (as you'd expect). Now she hasn't even taken them with her.

Very very upset at this. Really upset. Not because it reminds me of her or that I miss her or anything else. I am really upset because I really worry about a persons mind who can do that. Whether it was somebody I loved or not, it would cause me concern.

Cutter and WL - I couldn't throw these things away. I could store them and not give them to her until I felt ready but I couldn't effectively destroy somebody's memories. That's a line I couldn't cross. That little girl that my W once was needs her photos and her memories of her mum and dad and brother.

Cutter - I see what you are saying about the daily reminders of the fact you are living a lie. But you're not with these photos, books and pictures as they have nothing to do with me. They are all from WAAAY before I met W. So having them won't be reminders of them living a lie, IMO.

Newmama - the potential for contact could be right. But I think the potential, as seen in cutter's new sitch, is probably not for good and loving reasons but for control, chance to release guilt and blame shift. Once agian thought you always see the positive. I wish I had a pocket one of you!

Anyway, I don't get this. I really don't get it at all. I always thought W was actually fine, dealt with everything and had moved on without the FOG or guilt. I can now see that she is as much in the FOG as every other WAS we talk about. My wife is an alien. That is also clear now.

It's sad. It really is. That wonderful, incredible and amazing girl I married is gone. I always thought that somebody up there was smiling on me when I met W. I was being rewarded for something or being given something that would guide me in my life (and I'm not religious) but I suppose my guide was only temporary. She has got me this far, maybe the rest of the journey is mine to walk on my own.

Anyway, rambling now.