My H waffled back and forth like yours... giving me mixed messages... it was emotional torture. I came to the conclusion, as it sounds like you have, that he was pushing me to kick him out so it could be blamed on me.
So, instead I took a firm, loving, and calm stand. I continued to tell H over and over that I choose this M and it is not my choice to separate. I told him if he chose to leave, that was his choice to own to our kids and everyone else. But, I also told him I choose this M within certain boundaries (in my case absolute NC with OW and complete transparency) but also a firm commitment to our M and IC as well as MC. No more waffling. I didn't give a deadline, but had it gone on much longer I would have.
In the meantime, I am with G - you need to go out, doll yourself up and not let his choices emotionally control or manipulate you! I know that feels impossible when you are hurting so much! Believe me, I know. But, I also learned it helps so much when you push yourself out of that.
Please consider this Luv... you can do it! You are a strong, amazing woman who has the right to be out and enjoying life tonight. You are better than this sitch and you need to live that!
