Oh and I never bossed WH around or anything. He did used to wait too long before telling me if he had an issue with something. I never saw him as a pushover. But he did do so much that he forgot to leave room for me to do something.
I resented all the giving! I mean he could have toned it down a notch and he could have not been so perfect at it all..."perfect" is very intimidating.
I love taking care of S because S needs me and he "lets" me (LOL). So all you givers out there...if you leave some things for the takers (but tell them), you will turn the takers into givers ot ay least they would give more than before!
Interesting.
I noticed though that us givers do test the taker. When we first reach out and say hey. This is becoming unbalanced. We drop something that is semi important. Could be vacuuming or cleaning the bathroom or watching some show with you. We wait to see if it gets picked up. And when it does not. We shell and pick up the slack. Then if we notice you drop something. Well we give. So we take it over. This becomes a race as well. And we just keep shelling and giving and we see no way out. We forgot the word NO. Then we get to the point where we give up. I went into Depression. And stopping giving. Yours walked away.
So how do we attack a giver.
Attack his nature. Treat him as a dog. Positive reinforcement for doing what he is told to do. The trick is to not make him realize you told him to do the task.
Let him think he did something to see if you would notice.
Got to be very minute. Something where the reply back from you is just a smile and thankyou.
Can you think of anything that you could take over that he is doing ? Then drop it. Wait. Pick it up again. Wait. Drop it wait longer.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
