Trusting...???!!???

[JWS123]

Trust is funny, it can give you peace of mind and it can drive you nuts. we say that people have to earn our trust but really you have to give it. you have to make the decision to trust someone. what is trust? you can not control the actions or thoughts of another person no matter how much you may try, so all you can do is believe that what they are telling you and how they carry themselves is truthful. at some point you must say that he appears to be trying, if you truly want to try then you need to release all past opinions and trust. it is an action on your part not a feeling. you will have to blindly believe in him for a while until it becomes a feeling. this means actively purging bad thoughts from you mind and never checking his facts. give him all the rope require to either hang himself or build a new relationship with you.

this is not easy but at least it will give you piece of mind. if he lies and it does not work its not your fault for trusting its still his for lying. when i decided that I could either be fearful and suspicious of everything my exW told me or i could just trust, it did not take her long to notice and to become comfortable talking to me. remember to only control what you can control, witch is your feeling and thoughts and your own honesty.

what do you think would go through his mind if you said "i appreciate the fact that you have stuff in this other relationship that you need to finish first. i expect that you will and i have my own boundaries that wont allow me to go any future while you are with her but I am here ready to work on our family once you have completed what you need to do, i trust that you wont leave me hanging here too long" or something like that. i bet it would blow his mind and give him a lot to think about.

good luck and keep holding out hope.