((antlers)) I hear your pain that comes with recognizing the hurt your actions in the past inflicted on your family & the corresponding regret that you can not change that. I hope you can forgive yourself & come to peace with the pain and regret. Without it you wouldn't be the man you are today... I see you are in this forum now... hope we can support each other as we move into singlehood.
Bridge, I am still in the process of forgiving myself. I am doing it, it just takes time. Coming to peace with the pain and regret is something else. I know I need to, I'm just not there yet. I know that I have to get there though. I wish it hadn't taken all of this in order for me to become a better man...but it did, and I am. That's a damn shame too. Yep, I'm here now. I hope we can support each other as we move forward too.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Hi Antlers, Thanks for stopping by..I have no doubts you'll 'get there', as we all will.
another new year's eve. At least this one I have my both my kids at home & StBX is spending it alone. Spiteful, I know and small consolation.
I have hope that new beginnings, regardless of whether at 40+ or 20+ can be just as empowering.
I think I understand now why 20 year olds are fearless... they don't know enough of life to know what 'could' happen with failure.
Trying to reframe my fear of the upcoming unknown & the little voices that whisper "failure" in my ear during those long, lonely, dark stretches of silence in my bed at night.
Happy New Year's everyone.. sorry we are all still here but grateful for each & everyone of you.
Peace Bridge
Divorced 03/2010 Mom to two amazing kids
Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.
Hope you have a Happy New Year and it brings you much happiness. Who knows maybe you will meet a really hot looking Canadian Man eh.
Anyway we, as in all of us here, are not failures because our marriages did not turn out as we had planned. We all had high hopes and the best of intentions when we took our vows but I and more than likely most of us were just to nieve and immature to understand all the work and sacrifice that a good, successful marrige took. So never look at it as a falure but a learning experiance that has made you a better person.
Chin up Bridge a new year is about to begin and with it a fresh start for you and with any luck a new chapter in my marrige for me.
I hope that 2010 is great for you. Best wishes to you...including hope, healing, and peace.
antlers
And to you as well... thanks for the hope & light you bring to those whose life you choose to interact with. You are indeed a blessing.
Peace Bridge
Thank You Bridge. And thanks for the positive feedback, especially since I have such feelings of overwhelming failure. It's almost medicinal to hear a positive stroke. We can change. And when we do, it can be profound. Your insight continues to help me too.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Good Morning Bridge. ((*hugs*)) Wishing you all the best in the new year. You deserve it. And I don't think there's anything wrong with feeling a little tingle of spite. Spending time with those who you love is not a luxury. Wanna come over for some virtual breakfast? I've moved to We're Separated. Peace.
Bridge, I'd like for you to field a question for me.
What do you think about me getting her a copy of 'Love Without Hurt'?
For NO OTHER reason than to help her understand and heal.
The subtitle of 'Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One' kinda throws a kink in it because I don't want her to get the wrong idea by me giving it to her. I'd just like her to be able to understand, and heal. Stosny does the best job being able to help someone understand and heal.
If I give it to her...what do I say in a short note? I would appreciate your insight on this.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Well, I would honestly examine your intentions and more importantly your expectations of this act.
Is this for her or for you? Are you still trying to fix by helping her heal?
What if you just copied the 'spouse' portions of your book & gave to her & let her know that this is part of a book you have been using as the basis to be grow & become a better person and the first step to doing that was gaining some insight into what she went through for years being married to you.
I think she might want it to be about her, not you. good luck Peace Bridge
Divorced 03/2010 Mom to two amazing kids
Taking the road less traveled because those encountered on the way may be just as unique.
