Last nite was not good at all. Got snowed in and couldn't leave for wings and beer.
After being cornered and hit and grabbed and told this and that I had it and let her have it. Basically wasn't given any room to breath, she wouldn't allow a dignified exit so I went after it. After I thought she was hoarse and I made my way out of the room. I went to Kitcen.
I circled the date she is supposed to be out on the calander, marked off the days since I told her .
I started packing some stuff- she went BALISTIC. Threw a bowl,I kept packin; hit me - I kept on Packin! She got in my face told me i was verbally abusive- I kept on packin - THAN She said " I guess I should've kept my mouth shut"
I said " Maybe it was the legs"
I hate myself for saying that now BUT she left me alone the rest of the nite.
This morning she wants to talk, I listen don't say a word -
" I know what you want me to do and I 'm not sure what to do with that right now. My A is the number one reason you want a divorce. Well it isn't the reason I want a seperation or break or whatever i want. I don't always know what to say and my mind is so full of stuff right now I can't think straight. It's not that I don't care about you or us or our marriage.It's not that I don't love you - it's I am really messed up right now. I want to come home tonite and talk about it again, can we do that?."
I told her to call me later, maybe we could discuss it.
M43 W43 D11 S7 M18 T20 WAW is back & trying (no she was lying) Close to callin' it busted but.... watching Whatever the outcome - It was a choice.
to put a ribbon on this, during that discussion when she comes home tonight, a few text msg's from a girl you just "met" might just send the msg across to her that you're moving on.
Seriously, I know it was a hard night, I'm glad you weather your "storm" as well as you did.
Stick to your guns, if she can't be with you by her own choice, you don't want her at all.
Tell her to be with the OM, you don't want her anymore. Push her away, time for you to find someone new, this routine is old & boring with her.
Let me ask that another way. IF she begins to come around now - OM totally out of the pic, transparency, MC ... whatever your requirements are - would you change your course? Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
to put a ribbon on this, during that discussion when she comes home tonight, a few text msg's from a girl you just "met" might just send the msg across to her that you're moving on.
Seriously, I know it was a hard night, I'm glad you weather your "storm" as well as you did.
Stick to your guns, if she can't be with you by her own choice, you don't want her at all.
Tell her to be with the OM, you don't want her anymore. Push her away, time for you to find someone new, this routine is old & boring with her.
Well, OB...if you DON'T want a D, then don't anything that will earn one for you...like finding someone new at this time.
This is where Robx and I part ways. If Coach had taken advice like this while we were separated, can't say we would have reconciled. NO ONE should date while married - WAW or LBS.
Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
I'm dealing with infedelity here. Continual boundary crossing and being told that the marriage was bad which was the only reason W was able to have the A.She doesn't deny it's wrong but at the same time isn't taking steps to correct it. She says all I do is remind her of it everyday. She doesn't want to admit that she leads herslf to it everyday and than when it gets there she wants to blame me.
I do everything I can to avoid her and she'll corner me. She even has tried to turn around the events of last nite to make me look responsible for the whole thing.
She brought home some boxes last nite so she is getting even closer to the door. I have asked her not to sleep in our bed and she still does. I don't get it. We have 4 bedrooms and 5 baths she doesn't have too be there yet she does. She call during day and ask not to fight anymore and as soon as she gets home becomes confrontational. Than blames me. Says here comes the old H. Hell I'm just trying to avoid it.
Middle of the fight last nite i asked her -" why r u out here? (workshop) - I mean really, why are you doing this? I came out here for peace you came out here to start this? Your getting what you want so go"
I really feel she is trying to call my bluff. Believe me I ain't bluffing. I just keep asking myself why I want to hold on now.
M43 W43 D11 S7 M18 T20 WAW is back & trying (no she was lying) Close to callin' it busted but.... watching Whatever the outcome - It was a choice.
Do not fight with her, per sandi's list. Get away if she starts it. Just say STOP, when she starts to blame or turn the tables on you. If she wants to talk it needs to be about a MC, and transparency plan, not rehashing the old hurts. You are strong and confident, you are having the right attitude. Her attitude is a lot like my wife, she continues to bring up the bad from the past non-stop. You have owned that, apologized, asked for forgiveness, and can't change the past only the future. Keep us posted, we all are praying for you.
Do not fight with her, per sandi's list. Get away if she starts it. Just say STOP, when she starts to blame or turn the tables on you. If she wants to talk it needs to be about a MC, and transparency plan, not rehashing the old hurts. You are strong and confident, you are having the right attitude. Her attitude is a lot like my wife, she continues to bring up the bad from the past non-stop. You have owned that, apologized, asked for forgiveness, and can't change the past only the future. Keep us posted, we all are praying for you.
