WAW, live under same roof, and still have sexes.

[sandi2]

Tango, you will be hearing things from some of us that will be hard to take, but please understand that we want to help you, okay?

My two kids of course need to have a family (W is a good mother. Note: she gets started to be involved more with our kids since the EA. I guess that comes from some of her guilds).

First of all, based on what you have said about the only time your W has shown much mothering to the children has been since the A started......then I believe it is b/c the lawyer has told her that she needs to "show" it more in case she files for custody. It doesn't make sense, but people who are in A's are not logical and if she plans to leave and file for D, she doesn't want somebody thinking she is "bad" mother.....(go figure). But, she seems to have you thinking that she is better mother....now. BTW, carring a baby in a womb does not make a person a good parent. I think a lot of fathers have proven they are capable of providing good homes, etc. for their children. I understand you not wanting to break up the family....and no child deserves that....but you cannot allow this conduct to be played out in front of the children. They see mama & daddy sleeping together and yet mama takes them to be with OM and his mother? Don't you think that causes a lot of confusion for them? They need to see a firm boundary set in their home for them and their mother. They need to see their father as a strong leader in their family. They need a solid foundation in their lives. You must be that foundation.

You are still refering to the A as an EA, and you are still having sex with your W. This is hard for me to understand, but some couples do that. My concern is that you will contact a STD. You must realize that she is sleeping with OM. Do you really think this lawyer would invest this much time & into her life if he was not getting sexual favors in return? Sorry to say that, but as long as you refuse to believe she is doing it, then I think she will control "you" as long as you get sex with her 2/3 times a week. That is where your weakness lies.....and she knows it and will use that as her leverage to get her way.

Being a soft man at this time is not the way to deal with a WAW in an A. She must see you standing strong & proud. You protect your finances and you protect your children. You don't protect them by trying to convince yourself that she is a good mother since starting EA.

Is the lawyer from a differnt nationality or the same? I still believe your best avenue to take with busting the A will be through his mother. But, you must not go to her begging and pleading for her to have her lawyer son stop his A with your W. You need to tell her that her son is having an A with a M woman with children and if it does not stop....the news of his behavior with clients will hurt his reputation and business. I think "mama" will have more influence over lawyer than anyone. I bet mama still pulls the strings.

The reaon I asked about exposing the A at your W's business......I did not know what type of business she was in, or if she had a boss or if there was a human resource office. But if it is "her" business and she runs it, then then that may be a blocked avenue......IDK. Just trying to think of options.

I know you do not want MIL hurt from exposing the A, but she is already hurting and this A needs to stop now. Wait until we can discuss boundaries, etc. before you decide to take any extreme action. I have to leave for a little while, but will get back with you shortly. I hope some others will come in to help you with what to do.