Pls help--confused and fearful

[sandi2]

Sandi, you are a former wandering spouse who came back, right? Did you come back after your H dropped the rope?

And yes, I am a fearful woman too. Why do you think more women are fearful of getting a divorce? Just curious!!

Hi Newmama,

Actually I never wandered outside of my home. I almost left. Had my hand on the door, so to speak. But, my H did drop the rope when he finally come to the conclusion that he could not "make me love him". The difference in our stitch was that my H did not have the DB information.....I did. Odd, wasn't it? So, our stitch was a little "reversed" in how things got worked out. I, the WAW, had the DB information from this board. My H had pursued me, and that was causing me to want to leave the home. Long story, he finially realized he couldn't force me to do anything I didn't want to do....but he wasn't going to just sit and watch me disrespect him right under his nose by contacting OM on the computer while H was stitting right there.

If my H would have gotten out and started getting a life, and especially if I thought he was even looking at another woman.....it would have caused me to drop my attention on OM and look at what my H was interested in. That is just me and it may not work in ever situation....but it would have mine. So, to answer you first question, yes my H dropped the rope, but things would have progressed faster if he could have been busy becoming an "interesting man" in his own right, instead of being so depressed. Of course, that was normal, but it didn't make him attractive, either.

To answer you second question, I have to tell you that I believe a lot of women are fearful of D b/c even if we are "liberated" and have equal rights with me.....and women are making as good money as men now, I can't help but think it still goes back to our "roots" in depending on the man to be there to protect and provide for the family. I can't help it......I was raised very old fashion and it's hard to get away from those ideas. I think for some women the idea of being alone is what is the real fear, but since I have not actually experienced that, I can't give an fair opinion.


But, you know what? Since being on this board for 2 1/2 years, I have read tons of posts from LBH's who are fearful of getting a D and living without their W. However, I think their "fear" and the woman's fear is completely different. That's JMHO FWIT.

Thanks for asking, but I don't feel like I gave a very satisfactory answer.