Moving back in

[DDogs]

[quote=DDogs] she has something planned that she is working on,,,

I'll lay my odds on this one. She's detaching & separating.. "yours" "mine".

just happy with the fact that I stood up for my self and she swimming in the consequences of her actions...

Yep you stood up for yourself.. It is empowering to do so. but I'm confused how is that actions SHE took & what consequences are you referring to? What do you mean by this statement?

the consequences I was referring to were w agreed to a controlled separation for each to figure things out when W never intended figure things just get me out of the house and then D, possibly in her mind to make the break easier,, once I began realizing it was a scam, I reclaimed my home very much to her dislike...

Seems to me, & I realize I represent a minority perspective on heere...like you have shown her you can't be trusted to follow through on what you said you'd do.

The way I understand it.. you BOTH agreed to take a 6 months separation with you leaving the marital home.. did I misunderstand that piece?

Then, you unilaterally decided to not continue to do that & move back home without talking it over with her the same respect she showed you in asking for the separation, & not only that you dropped this on her in MC at the last minute as the counselor pointed out.

From a WAW perspective.. you just confirmed you can't be trusted to do what you say you're going to do.

Just for the record, LBS aren't the only ones who work by the premises believe none of what they say & only 1/2 of what they do.

in MC w and I decided on a trial sep at the advice of MC for each to work on things...it was for several months, no specific time frame was selected.. W assumed it was for 6 mos. but either way it didn't matter.. W admitted in MC she never intended on doing anything but move for a D when I returned.. So W began this unilaterally as an attempt to get me out of the marital home....so what's the difference whether I return at 4 mos or 6, W was intending to do the same regardless, once I smelled scam, I decided I needed to take control of my sitch..

in our last session with 15 min left W begins talking about what an impasse she is at and felt she need to do something to move herself in a forward direction and for something that was best for her.. she began pressing me for mediation as a prelude to D... I deflected and felt this was a perfect time to express what I felt was best for me, I stated my intent to move back for the best interest of ME and my kids. The fact that there was only 5 min left is irrelevant, I did not go into the session planning at the last minute to drop it and run that's just how the story played out. And that's what happens sometimes in C,,issues come up there is no agenda of issues, it flows,, sucked for W this time, but, that's life..

I really like how you addressed the kids with honesty & dignitiy... however, for the most part they will be old (12 & 15 right?) enough to make decisions of where they want to be.

Be prepared though for them to make choices different than what you 'think' they should make & what they "should" be comfortable with.

[quote]I don't think you can keep their mother from sharing custody with you if she leaves the home.. she can't 'kidnap' them obviously, but you also can't hold them hostage & keep them from her new abode either, if that is the path she chooses to take.

W intent is for full custody of the kids...in her perfect world I'd get them every other weekend.