LR - I love your plan - will do. The problem with the lingere is that Mr. H4L will have nothing to do with me sexually. Long story. But we sleep in separate bedrooms when he is here, and I'm not allowed a kiss, a hug, a cuddle, nothing. We're not there. Yet. Hope to be there, and when we do, I'm going lingere shopping!
As for staying kind and detached with rudeness, I will try. I'm going to print out exactly what you said so that when I get flustered, I'll have a guide! Thank you! It's the hardest thing of all to not react when you feel mistreated.
last week we were so close, this week he is taking time off from work, which is good in that there hasn't been the usual verbal lashings. But he's been going out and not inviting us, or offering to take S at all. Feels like he's rubbing my face in the fact that he's going out with friends (I often wonder if there's a girl, but probably not), and going on hikes ALONE - (presumably) but no offers of taking S or definitely not me. Also refuses to join us to family friends' house when invited.
So, there's hot and cold. Well luke warm and cold. Guess it goes in waves. Must be a pullback. Guess I just act "as if" - like if we had no problems, I would support him going out by himself. He never did this before he left, so it feels threatening. Advice as to how to respond when he dangles that stuff in front of me?
I know I'm supposed to do my own things, GAL, not pursue but I feel like he's "DBing" me! All this mystery and independence does get my goat. Advice?
