WHO CARES? Who cares what H thinks? The only thing that matters is what BUNNY wants to do. If you have friends, if you want people to know where to find you, then TELL THEM. EFF H.
To paraphrase my very wise nephew, H is NOT the boss of you.
Every time you worry about what H will think, I want you to stop, ask yourself, "What do *I* want/need/desire?" And if it leads you to the original idea, then think:
"EFF what H thinks. Bunny wants ___________."
For a time, just to get you to break the habit of screening your every thought and move by what your H wants, I think ANY time your H comes to mind, you should go ahead and say out loud (if you're alone...or not :
EFF H!
Absolutely perfect, SD!
Originally Posted By: SDFoundGirl
The reason your H is pushing your boundaries and not freaking out is because he sees you as the same old Bunny. He thinks he's going to lure you back and make you do exactly what you've always done and give him his way. It's time to break the pattern, because honey, it's the only way you'll end up in a healthy R, with or without your H.
and is condescendingly convinced you're just going through a phase! Shatter it!
Originally Posted By: SDFoundGirl
Do you know about Meetup.com? It saved me when I was going through this with H. I'm really shy, but I pushed myself to go to some meetups and meet people. I joined a dinner and a movie group, a walking group, a sushi group, etc. I had a great time. And as long as you stay away from the party groups, you'll have a chance to form friendships that are a lot healthier than the swingers you know.
. So did I: Hiking and Ballroom Dancing MeetUp Groups. It's been great!
And if I may add, Bunny, the only way you're going to make immediate, marked, and sustained progress as your own person and not as sicko H's chattel with his very real(and already put in motion) getting-you-back-under-his-thumb-and-control plans is to go from SD's "EFF H" to "H and M are dead to me." I'm serious. And, sorry, but this was never a marriage, anyway, with its total lack of love, honor, cherish, protect, etc.
He is a master. Always be suspicious of everything he says and does, because, kiddo, getting you back "where you belong" is the only thing that matters to him. It consumes him!
It. Is. ALL. calculated.
Strident re: your sitch, as always.
And remember my sincere offer, friend.
(((strongBunny)))
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
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