This sucks and I am sorry. Agree with CG...just sit on things and not make any decisions yet or fly off the handle. In reality this is what has been happening all along, just not right under your nose.
For the record I am supportive of something being done either way. If your W is openly dating and bringing OM around your kids then she needs to own it and file for D. Can't have the best of both worlds.
Hang in there! I will be checking in on you tonight as well!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!