Pls help--confused and fearful

[Day by Day]

Well P, what you wrote is why I'm conflicted. Part of me wants to keep trying for it to work, and then my head agrees with everything you just said. He couldn't care less about me and I can just feel him waiting for me to disappear to justify his A with OW. This man doesn't want me, he's completely selfish and controlling and very cruel. There is someone better out there for me. I deserve much, much better. My life has been getting better in the areas without him. I'm working on getting a happier future that I wouldn't have had with him.

I think I'm just going to go ahead with D and not only the financial support. I've just got to quiet the little parts in my heart that don't want to give up.