Just read a little about your sitch since I am back to the boards for the first time in a while - started here in 04.
Anyway, I have learned through much trial and error that the less you get other people involved, the better. I know it's hard. But if you do send pics to OW's parents, what is your intended outcome? If you are trying to possibly reconcile with H now or the future I think you can anticipate this would most likely get him angry and embarrassed.
My XH left me for his secretary. I was in a similar situation as you when XH wanted to be with both of us at the same time. I wish I could have done alot different so that is why I am back on the boards.
Keep moving forward with your life. As Snodderly advised, try to treat him like an old friend. I do agree to draw some boundaries with sleeping with him again until you know he is done with OW. For me, it was just a self respect factor. But that is your call.
The more you GAL and concentrate on yourself, the better. As far as comparing notes with OW, that's a toughie. Sure, it will piss her off but obviously she takes scraps or she wouldn't be in the sitch she is in. That being said, you don't want to do the same and let him cake eat. It's a matter of integrity. And, by getting involved and speaking with OW is just going to get H mad, too. Try to think about the outcome of your behavior before you do it. Believe me, that is not something I did too often!
Also, forgive yourself! We all backslide. It's normal. With so much drama going on it is simply exhausting. Do the best you can to forgive yourself and take a mental breather from the drama. Disengage for now and when you feel yourself backsliding again - have a plan B. I know when I get pissed at my XH I have the "24 hour rule" on not responding. I may write an email to him but I will not send it for 24 hours. Most of the time, I end up deleting it.
I have to go back and read more on your sitch but I wanted to lend you an ear and some a little bit of advice.
You sound like a strong, articulate women so make sure you praise yourself each and every day for what you are doing right! It's so important to do that especially when so much of our lives are centered around the rejection.
