She is dealing with a lot of inner turmoil. However, she keeps repeating and maintains that she wants out of this marriage.
Notice how she has to keep repeating that to herself, I don't think she's trying to do that to convince you, I think she's trying to convince herself - you have changed the momentum of everything that's been going on.
The idea is to stop pursuing her altogether, you actually have to move in the opposite direction, she's used to you pursuing, she's used to you wanting to fix this marriage, she's used to you wanting her, now you have to do the opposite.
She wants out of the marriage - you agree. She tells you that you guys could never work things out - you agree.
YOU (as in you tridoc) don't want to be with anyone that isn't with you by choice (quoting Gucci on this one as it's so important to understand).
She doesn't want to be with you, you get it, you understand, you were foolish for trying to hold on to someone who doesn't want to be with you. You get it now, you don't want to be in this marriage anymore either, why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?
You've done good, keep up this momentum.
Robx,,, what would your response be to the W if the W then states, "well H, since you agree, then lets go and get this D done ASAP, over and done with right now!" I'm asking because that is something along the lines my W would probably say..
DD my response would be "what's holding you back? you don't need my help anymore and I know I'm not holding you back from doing this, go for it, I don't care what you do and this isn't something we need to do together - what are we going to go out for lunch/dinner afterwards too LOL!"
You don't have to act. You don't have to do anything. She wants this so much, let her do it, why would you need to help her? She's a big girl, I'm sure she can figure this out on her own. Plus you're busy, you're going out tonight, you met a nice person that you're having dinner with, life is short and you're not wasting it doing things for her - that's the old you, the new you can't be bothered to waste his time on things that she wants especially when you're not getting anything out of it except for spending your cash - let her take care of it.
That's the mindset, without that mindset, you'll never be able to move in a different direction.
