She said last night that she is embarrased about what others think of her and wants to move out of state with my kids. ...Never in a million years!
The embarrassment is her guilt coming through, that part is tough, she realizes that she has made mistakes.
Mistakes don't define people (not usually anyways), you can be a good person and make mistakes and bad judgements, we all go through that.
You can validate her when she talks like that, don't offer to fix problems, don't offer relationship talk at all, just tell her "yeah I can see why you feel like that, I'm sure it's tough"
As for wanting to move out of state, think about what that says, "I'm so embarrassed about this current situation, I'm afraid of what people think of me, I need to move away where no one knows me so that I won't be judged for my actions".... that's alot of guilt.
As for taking the kids out of state with her, you can be upfront and honest instead of keeping quiet on that issue, "... look if you feel so embarrassed about this situation that you feel the need the need to move out of state so that you're in a place where no one knows you and can't judge you, I can understand that, I'm sure it doesn't feel good to have those feelings but just know that I wouldn't allow you to take my kids out of state and no judge or lawyer will ever allow you to take my kids away from me. If you need to move away out of state, just remember it would be you moving away, our kids would be staying here, this is there home"
Be cool, calm, confident, you're doing awesome, keep it up.
