So, the $64K question: is there some way I can demonstrate that I am capable of better emotional connection, without making her feel pressured about the relationship?
I would welcome a woman's perspective on this!
This was *my* failing as a wife. After H dropped the bomb, I came on heavy with those things (after all, I'd listened to him and was trying to fix it), but the pursuit just repulsed him. So I readjusted and tried to figure out how to show him respect and connection in a different way.
Ultimately, I worked on GAL and doing 180s that didn't directly involve him, I *also* took advantage of any time H initiated contact or conversation with me. When he was talking to me, I was fully present: eye contact, restating things he said, asking questions, asking how I could help, etc. When H initiated, I responded, but always on his terms, and never in a clingy, pursuing manner.
Hope that helps!
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
