Sorry about the death of your father... I haven't read through your other posts, so I'm a little confused on your sitch. Are you still standing for your M? Are you in a new R with someone else?
If you are trying to save your M with DB, it's better to do nothing and not react to your W's craziness. It's pointless trying to talk sense in to them at this stage. And if she does have OM, it's unlikely that she can have any kind of emotional R with you, because her emotions are invested in him.
And yes - I'd have to say that having any sort of expectations of her at this point is wrong. From what I've read, if they do come back, it's never how you imagined it to happen, and most certainly not like the movies. But also, if you really feel it's not genuine, maybe you need to take a step back, go dark again and so how true her intentions are.
Hope you managed to have a nice Christmas, even without your W.
