feel like giving up - talk to me!

[luvless]

Thank you EVERYONE. Yesterday was a pretty traumatic day for me. I sensed a bit of peace in the evening and I know it was because of YOUR prayers and those of my friends.

Monday night at our dinner conversation at a restaurant H told me he "didn't know if he wanted to be married" and an "it's me not you" speech. It took every ounce in me not to cry at the table. He said, "maybe we should separate."

I kept together but had to cry when I got home...sorry I'd had enough. He was upset that I was crying and said, "please stop crying now you're upsetting me." whatever...anyway I went to bed crushed.

Woke up Tuesday morning to realize my marriage was 99% in the grave. I had a terrible day. I talked to my kids. I started to cry and so did they. I told them that I'm here for them and that I'd never leave them. My older son contacted my mom and was crying so she came by to offer support. I didn't know this till she showed up but S19 was really upset at what has been going on. (this was before I told the kids everything)

H came home yesterday and we all acted as if. Deep down everyone is hurting like hell. My daughter took it the worse. She didn't sleep all night poor thing. I will work extra hard to support her. The boys are angry - guess they are taking it like boys but S19 is very very hurt.

So...this morning he cleans up the kitchen for me and I get up and he says, "good morning" I say it back. He talks to me about some work stuff (this new job he may get) and I am polite and matter of fact. He kisses me goodbye and says, "have a good day."

I have gone in protective mode. I really cannot worry about saving my H anymore. It's time to save my kids and GAL. I am done! I am done putting him before all of us while we are all hurting. No more. I am going to go on with my life knowing my marriage is probably over but my life with my kids is NOT. I will suck it up for them. I've done it before.

G and Mind stuck with me yesterday for one of the most hurtful days of my life. I am grateful for that...and ALL of you...for coming in and checking on me. God bless every single one of you and your families.

Luv.....Luv