My daughter swam in college and I am a US swimming official. Do your kids swim?
As far as your sich goes the 180's are good but too much contact with the W. All that conversation is feeding her and giving her power. You need to validate and then cut it off.
As far as the mediation goes it sounds like she just wants someone to validate that she wants to divorce you. It will do no good. Do not agree to it until she wants to be married again.
You are on the right path. Just refine your technique a little.
