CTH, I am posting a response here in your thread from another thread that Dwinter82 started. I did not want to hijack his thread.
To Quote you: "I've been hammered by some on these boards for being too nice and the nice guy approach doesn't work. So what's the opposite? Being an ass. That's just not me."
I have been lurking around the boards quite a bit and it seems as though IMHO that most LBS are very resentful towards the WAS and therefore think and act in that manner, as did I for a good 2 to 3 months. On the otherhand the success stories I have read here almost always included "acceptance" and loving the WAS through the pain they are causing. I think you have to check your pride at the door when doing good DBing.
I have had more success in the last 3-4 weeks being nice and doing some good DBing than I have in previous 5 months. I join you in your approach. Additionally I think everyone needs to do a better job on looking for and finding the positives baby steps in every interaction with their spouse. I think in the beginning the negatives are so much bigger and numerous that they block out the positives from our view. PMA is the way!!
I have not read your thread but I will at work today. I hope you find the positives in the day. BTW just looked at your last post, is this bounced check thing an opportunity to show her a 180, do you usually get upset or crazy about the finances. I know I did. Might be an opportunity, just a thought, have a great day.
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
