Having a bit of a bad moment.... Just need to vent...
Am I being naive thinking I can do this? Can I forgive 2 affairs? Does H even deserve my forgiveness? Does H deserve me?
I am sitting here crying wondering what am I doing. I feel like crap. I feel weak.
I felt so in control and positive the last few days. And now the anger and hurt is just pouring out of me. I actually thought today was going to be the first day I did not cry. Nope!
And it started over an arguement about MC, how much it cost, when we could go, he wanted to wait about a month before we went together, I want to go sooner. I brought up that I am anxious and I need to feel we are doing something.
It is so unfair!!!!
Part of me thinks that H is sitting there feeling pretty smug... Hey, I just got away with 2 affairs and my W did not leave me. Gee....I am pretty smart that I got away with it.
So glad its close to bed time. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully my positive outlook will be back after some rest.
