Felt like I needed a new thread titled "I Knew This Day Would Come", since I walked away from my situation (just let go completely after a year of limbo). And as a result, the forum and DBing for the sake of my M as well. Well lately my W has been calling and coming to visit I think all stemming from the death of my father. Just a really odd experience, she was there for me, but not really there; no I love you, I'm sorry, no hug no nothing, just really bland. She did not even sit with me at the funeral. And I know I should not expect anything from her, but after 10 years. I got more from co-workers, friends, strangers etc.
Well, upon one of her recent visits she says "You know we are not getting any younger and I want to have kids". I just looked at her and mentally said WOW. She has made several gestures of moving forward but without discussing the gravity of the situation. She told me she was not going to kiss my ass and right or wrong, I promptly told her it was a good place to start. She walked out of our M, and is still blaming me for her decision. I tell her all the time, "I am only responsible for the steps I take with my own two feet. I am not bitter nor do I blame you for anything, life (%*@!) happens". She often states that she's upset w/ the changes she sees in me but happy for me while at odds b/c that's how she wanted me to be when we coexisted.
Her claim is that just b/c she isn't coming around the way I think she should then it can't be real or true. IS IT ME? I just expect more than that. Her approach really upsets me and shows me she is not genuine. Yesterday, upon leaving, she asked for a kiss. I told her I was not kissing her and she said why, do you feel like your cheating on her? The only person you can cheat on is me, I still own you legally. I told her the only thing she owned was bad judgment. Today she said she was just playing when she said that. We were supposed to do Christmas but it fell through, or should I say she fell through. Funny, she still claims/denies that there is or ever was an OM. She's still in denial
_________ Me 36 W 30 no kids T 11 M 5 Separated 8/08
