Oh crap. I bet she wants to take you to the cleaners. Talk to your lawyer immediately. You need to be ready to play hard ball. I doubt you can use the law to force her to leave.
Be polite, civil and humane with her. You do not want to be baited into a yelling match or any sort of confrontation that she could twist into a claim of abuse. This doesn't mean kiss her a$$, but rather state your boundaries curteously in a matter of fact tone. This is also a chance to document all of her behavior. If she stays out late (and she will), make a note of it. Document everything she does, and keep your journal in a place where she can't access it. This will require discipline, but think of it like your medical notes.
I am intrigued by her unauthorized transfer of funds from your business account. If she committed an illegal act, that could give you some leverage...even more if dbag might be connected to it. Consult your attorney and open your checkbook.
Seek out Puppy Dog Tails. He is about the best at dealing with wayward unfaithful spouses.
I am very sorry you find yourself in this situation.
