Moving back in

[DDogs]

Folks, all who have replied, PLEASE keep the assistance coming in, I feel this is a turning point and I need to keep my advantage/ground

[quote=DDogs]GREEK/SOLEIL

Moving back in is the best thing you can do.

As for the crazy psycho hissy fit bat$hit crazy that you think you're expecting, multiply it by a factor of 10 and then at least you will be expecting it.

My advice when that happens,
don't react emotionally to her emotional reaction.

She will be angry.

Just smile and handle it like a cool, calm, confident man.

Remember women test men, she'll be testing your reaction.

You are bullet proof (that's a figure of speech, I expect you to duck if she shoots at you with a gun LOL!), nothing she can scream, yell or say to you can hurt you especially if you know she's reacting because she feels insecure about the situation, she feels like she's losing control, she knows you're gaining some control, the dynamic in this power struggle is changing.

Just be cool.

And be strong for your kids and remind her to keep her craziness in check if the kids are present, they don't need to see this and you being at home where your kids live is the best thing for them - trust me: I went through this and it was the best move for me, you will gain alot of personal strength and confidence from this move back home and you will have alot of forward & upward momentum from now on.

Good luck bro!!!!

Robx you were spot on with the factor of 10..

Ok, I get home at 630 and take the kids out to dinner and get back at 10:00.. W comes into the Master BR as Im changing and says
W "we need to talk"

DD " what would you like to talk about?"

W "about you moving back in"

DD "well, I decided that this was in the best interest of the me and kids. I need to be near them more and not just the occasional dad"

W " what about our decision to separate and give it 6 months"

DD "well it's been about 4 months, I've done a lot of work on myself and I am emotionally comfortable where I'm at. What did you expect after 6 months?"

W "that we would work on our D"

DD "well, I'm sorry you feel like that. I know you want a D, and you know I want to heal the M"
"we didn't decide when I moved out so why should we decide if I can move back in?"

W "MC was right, you dropped a bomb in session", "that's it I want a D, you just cant come back here after being separated for months and just come back, we both have to decide". "Well me and the kids are all moving out Feb 1, We'll rent a town house down the street, the kids can see you as often as they like"

DD "I don't think that is whats best for the kids to up root them and move them out of the home they are settled in. If you'd like to leave fine, but I believe its in the kids best interest to stay where they are at.

DD "well, it was not a formal separation, I took some time off for myself while maintaining all of my obligations here at the house"

W "well lets see what the police say, I'm calling the police and getting a restraining order against you, I cant trust you near my computer"

(DD-I poked around her computer looking for info and read some of her work email)

DD "OK, call them we'll tell them I left for a bit so we could get our selves straight, no official legal work, and I decided to return. besides I have stayed here for the past 3 days and on and off over the past few months, I never abandoned this home"

W "You talked to a L didn't you,, Ahh that's it, you talked with a L. Well, I'm calling mine tomorrow and getting a restraining order against you"

DD "I'm sorry you feel the need to have to do that. I'd rather discuss or issues "

W "It's your Testosterone replacement, isn't it,,thats why youre like this, your taking too much,,that what it is.

DD "I've been working on myself, getting my head straight and working on my issues, I believe I've done a good job"

W walks to the guest room, turns and scowls Good night and closes the door.

Whew!! holy crap what a Sh@t storm, she is PISSED on ice, W kept repeating I want a divorce, thats it I want a divorce. Her irrational talk was just justification for her and her comments were at me were intended to belittle my actions...

The only down side was the W was in full mode in front of the kids S15,D12 so I calmly told them, kids mom is calling the police to come here and speak with dad, I don't want you to be afraid or upset, but this is what mom is doing, you kids are not in trouble.

She never did call, but then we went on the back patio and W stated I cant believe you said that in front of the kids,, I replied that I will not lie to the kids or misinform them, I was telling them info based on your actions in front of them.

W stated well if we talk to them we need to decide what to say. I replied, I will not lie or misrepresent to the kids. I will tell them the truth, not sugar coat half truths.

I'm shaking as I write this,, I know I did/said the right things, I'm a bit stressed and freaked (w did not see me like this)

This board has been a tremendous help in reestablishing my self, Please, any comments or recommendations on how to proceed would be greatly appreciated, I'm too nervous right now to think clearly, I want to DB and make sure it is effective for ME!