Flushing the toxins from my life

[CountingCrows]

I filed for D today. I still feel like it's the right decision for me and S7, but also hard to feel "good" about it.

W's Mother and Step-father (who raised her) came through town tonight on the way back from a Christmas trip. I invited them over to the house to visit with S7 and me, since it's been over a year since we've seen them. They ended up staying for 1.5 hours, and was much more comfortable than I was expecting. S7 has had so little contact with them over the years (due to strained R between W and MIL), that he could barely remember them. He was very nervous and apprehensive about meeting them when they first arrived, and hid in his room. But he quickly warmed up once he finally came out and they started talking. They had never been to our house before, and were quite impressed with the life we live, however modest it may be. S7 was simply S7...smart, funny and friendly. I could tell they were proud of the young man he has become.

MIL is very sick and probably won't be here this time next year. She's on oxygen full-time and has "died" several times over the course of this year. Despite her doctor's warning, she wanted to make one last trip to visit all her grandchildren this Christmas, and we were their last stop. They've always been really good to me for these past 15 years. They know how much I love W and S7, and how much pain I'm in because of what has happened to our M. They always prayed that I could provide W the support, stability and unconditional love that she needed to help her become the person they know she could be.

But, both SFIL and MIL now agree that I need to protect myself and S7 and they support my decisions. They feel that W needs to hit rock bottom before she can begin to rebuild her life. They hope and pray that it's the jolt that she needs to grow up and do that for herself.

I still have some additional paperwork that I need to complete by morning, so I better get back to it. Thanks for the comments. They really go a long way at helping me feel less alone in this endeavor.