Well I had to make it clear in MC that they were still his choices, even if he claims to have just "gone along with something". I don't totally buy it, and neither did the therapist. However, I think my H does get stuck in "I have no choice" mode quite frequently and that is an excuse to not take responsibility. But the tide seems to be turning a bit -
H has validated my feelings recently, although last session was about me listening and validating him. But as recently as the last couple of nights, he has admitted to making a lot of mistakes. Far cry from the constant blame I have received for the last eight months! H has also heard me in the last couple of weeks when I set a boundary with his verbal rudeness. I even have had some apologies. I think he is softening and becoming a wee bit able to be vulnerable and try to trust again.
I'm nervous that when work gets back into ft mode, he will get all stressed and more abusive and shut down. Hopefully not. I'm still going with the listen and validate thing, even when I have to vent on here like I did yesterday! lol
