Effen vodka is something I discovered in Beverly Hills/Hollywood on my trip there with my sister for her lawyer convention in 2008. It is imported from Holland, but my sis says that her local Hy Vee grocery store stocks it in their liquor area so it can't be too sophisticated!
Has a cherry flavor, very good with 7Up and a little grenadine...
No good jokes, but I did accidentally expose my kids today. Looking for Dicks Sporting Goods and I typed in dicks.com.... never do that again!!!
Anyway I am sort of sinking a little these days. Just today I gave the attorney the final info he needed to finish my petition. I get the final draft tomorrow. Then it is literally a matter of 2 signatures (me & Dan) and I am divorced...
For some reason it is much more real to me right now....
It is stupid but I swear--I want a divorce ceremony. To get it through my head for real. I want him to stand in front of me and tell me:
1)I don't miss you
2)I don't have regrets or second thoughts
3)I don't want to be your husband now or ever again, and I don't want you to be my wife, now or ever again.
I know, I am stupid. But I just want that image burned into my brain so when I have moments of weakness or 'what if', I can remind myself that it is OVER. I mean obv. it is, as we are getting divorced, right? But I guess I want to be hurt. That makes no sense, I know...
But now it is too weird. He spent the night for Christmas Eve (on the couch). He has called a couple times since I have been on break and talked for no apparent reason, about nothing. And texted me little jokey things teasing me. Tonight I was up running errands in Omaha and he met me and the kids for dinner. That should be great. I mean, I want us to have a great relationship for the kids, so they can see us and not feel like they have totally lost their family unit.
