. Tonight, as she was leaving for her place, she kissed me and said she'd like to move back home by Thanksgiving. And she'd like to share the same bedroom.
I hate you, I mean AWESOME!!! lol
That sounds great. Do you think it might be a bit too much too quick tho? I mean any doubt in you mind?
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
No doubt in my mind. I'm making some real positive changes in myself and I can see that she notices them; they in turn are giving her the courage to make some of her own changes. We still aren't intimate but I'm OK with that for as long as it needs to be that way. This divorce is turning into more of a separation at this point. And I'm letting her take the lead on this, not pushing, letting her see that I will be OK so I'm not guilting her into anything. Detaching is not so simple when our lives are so intertwined; We're adopting our grandson, problems with our daughter, etc.
Yeah, couples counseling is definitely something that will happen. I'm getting counseling on my own right now and its doing wonders for me. I told her I don't want to go back to where we were but want to rebuild a better, stronger relationship and thats what we are working on.
Started getting the house set up for her move back home; start moving her stuff in this Saturday. And I just can't keep this stupid smile off my face!
Ron
M: 47 W: 50 D: 19 S: 16 Grandson: 21 months (now officially our son) Married: 10/2/89 Divorced: 7/31/09 XW moved back home 11/12 Re-married 5/25/10
Ron, you are lucky, lucky man. It's very refreshing to hear a success story. Keep up all the good work. Has your IC helped you try and identify any triggers yet that might create a relapse of sort in to old habits?
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
Yeah, she has. Money (or the lack thereof) is one. Since I'm often pretty low on funds I'm working on changing my idea of how important that is to me. Another is my daughter. For that, I have to view her behavior as I would a sponsee in AA (I'm a recovered alcoholic) and remember that she has to change herself and her behavior and I can't make her; all I can do is be there if she needs me, offer suggestions on what has worked for me, and if she doesn't take my suggestions seriously it isn't a failing on my part. IC told me I'm doing very well right now and could cut back on the visits if I'm comfortable with that, just call if I need to, but I decided to keep going. It keeps me grounded and thoughtful about my actions, which is where I need to stay.
We've started moving my XW's stuff back, and I bought a new bed for us today. We'll sign the adoption papers for my grandson Monday. My bankruptcy is almost done.
Life is good!
Ron
M: 47 W: 50 D: 19 S: 16 Grandson: 21 months (now officially our son) Married: 10/2/89 Divorced: 7/31/09 XW moved back home 11/12 Re-married 5/25/10
So I proposed to XW Christmas Eve. We are engaged and will be getting married again, probably sometime this spring. Not completely busted until the wedding but pretty close!
Ron
M: 47 W: 50 D: 19 S: 16 Grandson: 21 months (now officially our son) Married: 10/2/89 Divorced: 7/31/09 XW moved back home 11/12 Re-married 5/25/10
Now, this is the kind of spirit that should be reighning through the boards!
Exactly, you learned what life without one another is like. You spend enough time apart to realize, 'hey, it's not all so bad'. Unfortunate some things have to go from the greatest ever, to bad, then to awesome, but hey, we're human, and always learning.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
