First time poster feeling a bit lost

[sandi2]

The OM is a kid! He is the biggest ego boost she could have at this crises in her life.

I am so sorry....but not suprised. The signs don't seem to change througout the threads.

Protect yourself financially ASAP! She will wipe you out if you are not watchful. Remember, this is not the woman you M.

Expose the A to friends & family. I am not always in favor of exposing to everyone, but when the WAW is so blantant about her A and flaunts it in the face of her H, then it is time for drastic steps. She has told her parents & at work.....so she is ready to leave and tell the rest of the public "her side" of the story.

Just bear in mind, that if the two of you were to save the M, you do not want something haunting you about the exposure. One more thing......this kid is probably not going to be all gung-ho to have her after she tells him she's dumped you. However, these days....who knows? If she's his boss....he may play along for a while, but not too many men that young are going to want a woman ten years older than him. But.....be prepared, b/c she may get party crazy and start going with several men. It happens.

Hope you won't stop posting. Christmastime is slow, but we still care about you. We have invested a little time into your life...and I hope you won't leave without letting us know what's going on and how you are doing.

Take care of yourself.

Sandi

[MT21]

Sandii,

Its mental.. Youre right it probably wont last.. But I really dont care. This is a women who has by her own admittance.. a good looking/caring husband and father, nice house/job..etc...but this is clearly not enough for this ever so slightly crazy chick. (who has been living with me ?????? )

I have been thinking about how I feel, Always said Id fight..but this woman..I do not know.

I feel like I can look at her..and I feel nothing but pity...she may not realize but her life is going to get pretty bumpy and I have a feeling quite lonely.

She probably will go party crazy...but again...It doesn't matter.
I am really enjoying myself at the moment...seeing friends..playing with the children..up beat.. 28lbs lighter.. (although I am going to stop losing weight now...its scary and too fast.)work is more in control. couldnt ask for more.

I went out friday..and I cant remember the last time I had so many looks, smiles and hmmmm...Offers

Life is good..and way too short..she has her issues/demons to work with.their not mine..shes welcome to them. Her parents are so upset, and angry...MIL told me shes devastated and always want me in their life..even if she doesnt.

If she ever decides to talk..I may stop to listen..but right now, its not going to happen.

Thanks for all your advice and support. I will be in regularly..

MT

[sandi2]

Hope so, MT. When you let go of that emotional rope you've had around her......she may begin to see things differently.

[MT21]

Sandii,

I put in my last post that I felt pity for her... I am not sure this is the right emotion.

Its more like I see her...I see her pain..I dont feel her pain..

Does that make sense? Before I would have also been hurting?

The other thing..we are still sharing household chores..other wise the house will just get too messy and fall apart..that wont be good for the kids.. But tonight I went to put on a clothes wash...Its not a nice thing to mention but Its really creeping me out..I couldnt wash her smalls... ewwww!!

I am gonna have to tell her to do her own.. (Its kinda like having spiders crawl on me..)

Thats generally how I feel towards her now..(glamorous when going out/not that pretty when at home(never saw that before)...and somehow covered in spiders...ewwww...)

Someone can delete this part of the post if you wish its really unkind but that's exactly how I feel.I cant help myself..

P.s. I am going on a date this week..just dinner but shes a nice, I have told her the sitch and she understands...it will be nice to talk someone about normal stuff instead of this..

she is also hot..and even if I do say it myself slightly fitter and hotter(with no spiders :))..(friends for now though)

MT

[MT21]

Its not 10 Years its 12! the same distance between our eldest D and her... Thats sick!

MT

[sandi2]

MT, all these feelings you are experiencing is completely normal.

I'm glad you are going to dinner with someone. I think it may be good for your ego. Just be careful, friend, b/c you are also vulnerable from all that you've4 been through.

[MT21]

Thanks Sandii,

Normal?

Even the spiders? ....lol

I understand I am vunerable...but why shouldn't move on..

I plan to enjoy and not worry...I have done far to much of that and look where that got me.

Shes out tonight...that hurts a little..shes not coming home.
But the hurts not real bad like before...

I suppose I can expect a few difficult days..but tomorrow isnt going to be one of them.

MT

[MT21]

Ok..Christmas..hmmmm

The plan:

Keep it normal,
dinner at MIL s on the 25th
Dinner at Mums on the 26th.

Reality:

Blazing row on christmas eve.
I try to physically throw her out(Not pretty..V.ashamed )

She leaves taking children with her.

That wasnt the plan, but I couldnt stop myself being angry and almost bating her to react or respond. it was truly awful.
The thing is she is so brazen, and unrepentent so unwilling to to talk about anything..I just lost it. It was not my finest hour.

I saw the children at MILs for 1 hour xmas day.. I found it v.difficult to face MIL and FIL.
Boxing day I took the children to my mums, the day was good.

I hate this, the pain in their faces, the crying...its not fair..But I am there for them..and only them.

I have kept myself busy as well...still spending time with my new friend..shes lovely..and at the moment, good for me..I cant see any further than a day at time right now.

I look good, eating healthy etc... but as for sorting this mess out..its a bit of an enigma. I wont rush but I dont how she will play this out.

MT

[sandi2]

Things have gotten out of hand and sounds as if you cannot control yourself. The two of you need to live apart from each other. Somebody will end up hurt, and I'm sure you don't want that. Your children should not be subjected to that kind of behavior from their parents. Tell her she has two weeks to find a place to live and then you'll pack her things and put in the garage (or wherever).

Make a scheduled visitation calendar out for your W to see the kids. Make arrangements for sitters for the children....or whatever you need to do for them when you can't be with them. Do not contact her unless it's something very important about the kids.

Then go dark.

[sandi2]

MT.....how are you doing today?