I bet you remember a lot of times that were your "first" and it was a little scary. Maybe very scary. You know......you don't sound like it is the man you want to hang to, but it was your life and in its own weird way....it was your comfort zone. A divorce would cause you to get out of any comfort zone of M and face life as a single woman. Doesn't mean you have to get out there in the dating world....if you don't want to. Just be your own person....doing whatever "you" want to do with your life. Doesn't that sound good? You would be free of his hold over you. You would not have to fear him b/c he could not control your life. The kids are old enough that they can speak for themselves and you wouldn't have to worry about so many things that you might if they would a lot younger.

I think you are just scared and you need to look at your future without him....in a positive way. Don't use him for any kind of "crutch" or comfort zone. I can't see where he would be good at either one. Besides.....he wants another woman. If he is fool enough to leave you for OW, then he doesn't deserve you. Yes....you deserve much, much better.

Don't let him bully you any longer. Get a lawyer, or free legal assistance.....whatever you can do. Get the best your money can buy. From what I've read here on the board, women always feel so much better after they have talked to a lawyer and see what can be done for them. You certainly need protection from him....and that needs to be in place, if you haven't already taken care of it.


Last edited by sandi2; 12/29/09 11:08 PM.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!