Wow Maple, great progress! I completely relate to so much of what you wrote... I need the physcial reassurance as well... and was also surprised that I wasn't "repulsed" like I thought I would be knowing of OW. But, I also have those moments of doubt wondering if I am doing the right thing, can I really forgive, can we really get past this etc. And, the tears.. that come out of nowhere.. happens to me all the time. I try to take a few moments in the bathroom or go for a walk. Sometimes H sees and I tell him "I'm having a moment". He is very understanding and will give me a hug when I am ready.
I am so glad to hear your H is open to the transparency plan and to MC. Those are such good signs and you are both right that it is essential you don't slip back into old patterns.
