To snoop, or not to snoop - what do you think?

[Wholeagain]

I am with cutterbug on that one. There are no secrets in a healthy relationship.

Decide how much info you need and at what point you are going to stop. Do you need to confirm A, find out who's OM or do you want to know absolutely everything?

In any case you will feel like [censored] snooping, even if there's no A. Be ready for that. There is a trade off.

[newmama]

This topic is for discussion of spying on a spouse.

Is snooping ever good or useful? Or is it always bad, for self or for the R in the long term?

yes it is useful as an intervention when you suspect an affair but in conjunction with other suspicious behavior from Spouse

Are some kinds of snooping O.K., others not?

well I don't want my H to see me doing personal acts and I don't want to see him. BUT sometimes my WH would use the bathroom, take awhile, and I noticed his cell phone was not on the counter like he used to keep it.
IF I was not able to find other evidence through cell phone records, bank records, credit card statements or email,(I did ) but my gut was telling me something was suspicious, I might be tempted to audio or video record bathroom (ewwww)to see if he is texting or calling

Is snooping justified in some cases, like to expose an affair?

yes
with affairs, gambling, drug addiction, abuse

[newmama]

BTW before the A, I could use my H's laptop and email--he never logged out (no reason to) and had passwords written for all of his accounts. Me too...

hiding this site is justified because it is IC related. And IC is one area where I don't think spouses need to share with each other!!!

[nikblondiew]

I think your instincts lead you in the right direction. I too think there shouldn't be any secrets. No reason you can't leave your cell phone laying around, email open, etc. if there is nothing to hide.