If you really are serious about learning to stand up for yourself then I believe that you need to learn that true character is shown by always confronting or apologizing face to face or at least by phone. Doing it by email is taking the easy way out. If you would have done this face to face in the beginning, then you would be less likely to be in this situation...
I encourage you to get a hold of your emotions. You seem to be all over the place emotionally and run your life too much by your feelings. Learn to manage your life by more logic and reason and less by your feelings. You seem like an intelligent woman. Use your intelligence to become more stable with your up and down emotions. Just because your feelings change, doesn't mean you have to give in each time you feel differently about something.
