LIMBO NO MO!

[givingitmyall]

GIMA, if your W changed her mind on the MC, have you thought about going alone???

Sol,

I have seen an IC since the bomb. He was the one who turned me on to DB, and he has been helping me try to save the M with teh DB principals in mind.

I am still open to working on the M, if SHE decides she wants to do the work too. I'm just not going to do it alone any more.

[soleil]

I am still open to working on the M, if SHE decides she wants to do the work too. I'm just not going to do it alone any more.

Sounds like a good plan, GIMA. How is the IC working out for you?

[givingitmyall]

I am still open to working on the M, if SHE decides she wants to do the work too. I'm just not going to do it alone any more.

Sounds like a good plan, GIMA. How is the IC working out for you?

He's been very helpful, but I feel I plateaued with him - probably just caught up with my W and hopefully passed her. I've done all I can.

[sandi2]

Hi ya GIMA, old pal...old buddy....old friend (how old are you anyway?) No I have not been drinking! I have these spells to come over me for no good reason.

Just wanted to say hello and tell you I'm thinking about you. What do you have planned for New Year's Eve?

[givingitmyall]

Hi sandi.

Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts. I don't have plans yet for New Years - yet. Never liked going out that evening so I may just cook dinner (for the kids - W can join if she wants). It would be VERY out of the ordinary (to the kids) for me to be out without W.

Things will start heating up in early January.

[givingitmyall]

So, between working on end of the year reports for my office and meeting with clients, I have continued to make plans for moving forward with splitting apart the M. I have told my W there are only two alternatives - either work on the M or we need to take it apart. She has said she doesn't want to work on the M, so, that only leaves one alternative.

I have a plan now on how to move forward. It will not be comfortable or easy, but, given my situation, it is the right thing to do. If my W comes out of the fog as a result of my actions, and I am willing to work with her to rebuild our M at that point, great. If she does not come back, then I haven't lost a thing by moving forward. In fact, I will have gained much.

I simply will not sit around waiting on my W to decide if, and when, SHE is willing to put the pieces of OUR M back together. Her decision to leave me was HER decision but one that affected ME greatly. Now, it is time for me to take back control of what happens to me and my kids.

[scared n alone]

I've read it a few times here. What is "limboland"? My husband left 8 weeks ago and I read A LOT on this site. If anyone has any advice for me...I would love to hear it.

Thanks

[givingitmyall]

I've read it a few times here. What is "limboland"? My husband left 8 weeks ago and I read A LOT on this site. If anyone has any advice for me...I would love to hear it.

Thanks

I suppose the best way to describe it is a place you reach when your WAS has said they want a D, but, for whatever reason, (a) won't lift a finger to do any of the dirty work to file or move forward with it of (b) work on re-building the M. That leaves the LBS in an awful position of having to either hang around, living on what, if any, crumbs the WAS chooses to leave for the LBS, or move forward with the D themselves.

Limboland is a slow death. Maybe you can stay there briefly to catch your breath and get your ducks in a row, but it's no place to stay. But, you have to be strong to leave. Easy to stay, but not the right thing to do in hte long run.

Wish I had learned that sooner.

[soleil]

Limbo Land is the worst!

So GIMA, what's your plan to move forward?

[givingitmyall]

Limbo Land is the worst!

So GIMA, what's your plan to move forward?

Didn't want to set it out in detail just in case someone is reading here. Happy to lay it out afterwards, especially if it might help someone.

Theme is taking back control of my life.