IMO the one that chooses to leave instead of staying and trying to work on the M is the one that failed. The LBS if at least tried to make it work, did not fail.
I don't believe this is true in every sitch. Please read my sitch and tell me what you think. I don't think I "failed." I think I hit my threshold for patience and being naive that I can do everything in my power to make him not say those things to me.
Originally Posted By: K4D IMO the one that chooses to leave instead of staying and trying to work on the M is the one that failed. The LBS if at least tried to make it work, did not fail.
I don't believe this is true in every sitch. Please read my sitch and tell me what you think. I don't think I "failed." I think I hit my threshold for patience and being naive that I can do everything in my power to make him not say those things to me.
I say this and at the same time feel like I failed at my own M.
None the less, soleil. I am not making a judgement call here. I was just trying to show sadgirl that she did not fail in her M as she gave it every shot possible. She doesn't need to feel like a failure when she has no reason to feel like a failure. She gave it a good shot and things may yet still turn around for her and her sitch. More time will tell.
I have no idea what your sitch is nor will I try to make a judgement call on it. I can certainly read up on it and see if I can offer anything helpful to you. But I won't offer you a judgement on it. Everyone has their threshold.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Not to harp on this. I do have certain beliefs. But they are simply my beliefs. Everyone has their own beliefs. I just try to help out where I think I might be able to offer something. Even with that being said, it isn't always easy to stand by my beliefs as I also am human and have my own thresholds.
So I hope you didn't take any offense to that and just realized I was trying to only point out that sadgirl is no failure in her efforts to save her M.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
So I hope you didn't take any offense to that and just realized I was trying to only point out that sadgirl is no failure in her efforts to save her M.
Kevin
No offense taken at all. It's good to read the many different viewpoints here. And I appreciate any feedback in my sitch I can get so please do a drive-by if you have time Sorry if I came across as defensive.
I agree with you that it's not failing to try to save your M. Not at all. I think it shows great strength. And it's paramount when both parties are willing to work at it in the end...
I was just talking to my friend, a man. A man that H knows, and has never been an inappropriate friendship. Anyway, he is telling me to call H and ask him to meet me to talk. Don't worry, I won't, but I am still struggling with what to do this weekend.
I want my H back. Someone please tell me what to do next. Once I leave for my weekend trip, I'm doomed.
Is he wanting you to call your H to talk about getting back together?
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
He thinks H might be feeling differently, but because he thinks I have someone else, and don't care about H anymore, H will move on too.
I don't have a man. (I wish. lol)
I'm all for mystery, but I am torn. He stopped acting like an ass when he started thinking I had a man. If I don't come clean, he will think I spent the weekend ... someone else.
He thinks H might be feeling differently, but because he thinks I have someone else, and don't care about H anymore, H will move on too.
This sounds confusing.
Friend thinks H is being nice being to me because he is starting to wake up. H thinks I have someone else. I have acted like I don't care about H. Friend thinks H might be thinking why bother since I have moved on. Friend thinks I need to tell H how I feel so H knows he has options.
H is being nice being to me because he is starting to wake up. H thinks I have someone else. I have acted like I don't care about H. Friend thinks H might be thinking why bother since I have moved on. Friend thinks I need to tell H how I feel so H knows he has options.
Yep, he'll know he has options alright, & it'll likely be one that sends you right back to ground zero, making it less likely he'll think he may lose you in the future.
Sorry if I came across as defensive.