Sorry Christmas was okay. Just try your best to detach from the anger. It isn't you. Eventually he will hopefully realize that you are not the source of his issues.
I think I would like a light therapy lamp!:) Especially in Jan/Feb when I am just DONE with winter already!
That detaching thing is so hard. I know that you said over on your thread that maybe the going dark may not be the best right now based on issues your H was having but can you mentally detach so that his moods can roll of your back? Sounds like overall you are doing well.
Me, I am just trying to make my list of goals for 2010 to make it a year about me (and the kids) and what I want to accomplish. No goals regarding my H, our R, etc. What happens with that happens, nothing can be forced.
Things are interesting, though. He is becoming more and more friendly and like himself. Over the past couple of weeks we have had a few "normal" conversations that have lasted more than a couple of minutes that had nothing to do with the kids, "business," etc. My H is giving me more and more spontaneous hugs and has been starting to take responsibility for some things he has let slide for months. Of course, a lot of that is lip service at this point - we will see if/when he follows through. The other day the kids were not home all day and he was home alone with me, didn't go out at all. Of course, we pretty much kept to ourselves but he did eat lunch with me and I was kind of surprised - thought he might take his food to eat in front of the TV since the kids weren't home. I have heard the words "thank you" more times in the past couple of weeks than I think I have in the past year.
I am veeeeeeery cautiously hopeful for the future, but know this could go either way and will be a long road still. As far as I can tell, he has not faced his demons yet and still has a LOT of growing up to do.
So, for now I am just doing my thing and letting him do his. I feel so much more relaxed around him now, which is a great feeling.
